Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
