The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
