I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
