just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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