singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
