but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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