I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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