he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
