You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
