im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize