I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
