took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think my moral compass just broke
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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