I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
