I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
