i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
