I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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