tell your sister to shave her snatch
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
