he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
