no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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