meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
