I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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