How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
