too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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