Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
