I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
