what day is it and did you see me today?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
