May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Your penis caused this!
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