I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
