There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
