Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
