So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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