I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
