He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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