Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
