New invention idea: vibrating tampons
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
