I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
