happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My balls are so social today.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
