he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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