Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
