It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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