I don't think brook has ever known best
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
you had me at cake vodka
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
