It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
