Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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