yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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