dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
