i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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