Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
