It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
