If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
