I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
